Two student concerts in one week - done. Boom.
One more concert cycle left in my school year, which is seriously hard to believe.
My middle school orchestra students and I were doing our final run through in class on Thursday, and they knocked it out of the park; their bowings were together, they actually used accents, the dynamic contrast was apparent, and they actually watched me during the big time changes. After the last note, I did a little happy dance and made some squealy/giggly noises - I was so happy for them. They had achieved a really high performance level! After I put down my baton, I looked at them and said "Do you feel good about that?" No real response. Typical. Teenagers and their lack of expression. le sigh.
I puzzled for a second weather it was because of the parenting these students are used to, lack of interest in the subject, or inappropriate approach that caused a lack of response. I asked them - "Do you think that was good?". No real response, yet again. So I laid it out for them. I told them that if I wanted something that was perfect, exactly right, I would have gone into math. I loved math in school - everything ended up in the right place through a system that made sense to me. I told them that I never look for perfect and that perfect doesn't make me happy. I went on to say "I don't know that you will remember this for the rest of your life, but I hope you do. It is important for you to find satisfaction in something you invest yourself in, even if it doesn't go perfectly". I repeated myself, just in case they had checked out. No change in facial expression, but they were generally quiet so here's hoping some tidbit of that exchange stuck.
I think that working in a different culture is incredibly hard - I rarely know if what I'm doing as a teacher is working (or not working) because I chose a bad approach, or because it doesn't translate culturally. I have been told by my students and colleagues that my kids' parents rarely say positive things to their children - only negative words when there's a B+ or lower on the report card, and when there's an A, no "good job!" or "You should be proud of yourself" or "I'm proud of you".
It's all so messy. Who am I to tell people how to treat their child? I am not a parent. I have not raised a child. I haven't done the psychological research. However, what I do see is incredibly capable students being down on themselves. They come in tired, they come in upset about an A- to the point of tears (and this is not just a rare high strung student, this is all of them), they talk about their private lesson teachers hitting them, they speak of additional homework their parents assign them because the homework our school assigns isn't enough for their parents. I think this experience will forever impact my decision making - in the second semester, I've found that I focus much more on telling stories and expressing feelings than I do on rhythmic values and bow holds. Who knows if similar choices in the future will be appropriate… or where I'll be. I'm always thinking about the future and the past - will I be able to be a good teacher of rhythm and bow holds in the next place/school I find myself in? I think that ever new job will make me a first year teacher all over again. It's a puzzle - teaching my students in a way that helps them to be a whole human, smearing over the cracks in their existence or education.
Wandering post. My apologies.
We had a great week of performances - I chose some really technically challenging my high school orchestra and challenged them to put feelings into their playing. I think it worked. None of them would tell me that, but their performance was solid (with a few intonation issues. I need to up my cello and bass shifting game….). Middle school freaking rocked the house. After school orchestra performed with very few rehearsals, and we did well (or so I'm told). Also, I made my performance debut on the bass AND the cello. I played bass with the a cappella group to help out the middle school boys, and played the cello part in "Sweet Child O' Mine" for after school orchestra. Although I wasn't there as a performer, it did really feel good to be performing and presenting our work as a team… unified and connected. plus, a parent legitimately thought I was a cellist! VICTORY!
So now its one school week and then I'm jetting off to Bali with Sydnie. I am SOOOOO excited to have a nice relaxing week in a different culture. Korea's great. America's great. But sometimes you need a little island get away :)
but first, my fiddling debut.
I'll be playing at a Hooley at Rocky Mountain Tavern tonight and I'm jacked. Should be a grand time.
P.S. who celebrates an irish holiday at a canadian bar in korea? apparently I do.
