Identity

Identity. Purpose. Plan. Priorities. 

These worlds have been rolling around in my head for many reasons as of late.
They're seeping into my teaching as a result of personal happenings and questions.
And I like it.


I've started sharing music with my students to begin every class, just to open their eyes. My students have a pretty developed skills in and preference for classical music. I admire that, but don't understand it. As a high school student, I was in tears over classical music on the radio while riding up 35W north from a summer violin lesson. I remember telling my mom, "I realize that I would be completely happy playing the violin in an orchestra for the rest of my life. I however would NOT be happy for the many years it would take me to get there". My kids and I, we aren't that different, but 7 years later, I'm just trying to get them to shake out of their box. To enjoy ALL music. Not just 2 Chainz and Mozart. WHAT ABOUT THE IN BETWEEN!?

I'm trying to help my students to identify as musicians and artists. An assignment I gave them last Thursday was to email me a quote, image, or their own explanation of what music means to them, personally. Since then, I've been sharing examples along side the music videos at the beginning of class. I shared the stereotypical but very meaningful StoryPeople, along with this quote by Plato. 

Most importantly, I remembered the following quote. I shared it with my students today and it might be the first time they've been silent since the beginning of the year. I hold a couple longer quotes close to my heart, and this is one of them because of how and when it came to me. I was struggling between my freshman and sophomore year of college, thinking I should drop out and do something crazy (like go organic farm in hawaii or go to mechanic school. yep.). I was in contact with my voice instructor about how I didn't feel any longer like I was a singer and was considering not going back to my college. I went to visit a friend in my college town over break and he agreed to meet with me. I had already started seeing a counselor (Thanks, Mom and Dad! It was hard for me to accept but it helped me so much!) but my voice teacher had something my counselor didn't - perspective. He knew me as an artist and he knew the community I wanted to identify with. He sat me down, printed off this quote and made me read it to myself. I've been much more at peace with myself since I read these words and I think I saw it hit some of my students straight in the heart during 8th period. So, here it is:

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.
-Martha Graham